I have been putting this off because it's so unpleasant. It nags at me, so there must be a reason. My mom passed the year before last there actually.
1.) Lights are off in the hallways where the folks with dementia are, and research is clear that makes dementia worse. When I commented on it, I was told they were sleeping (by the CM who didn't even ask the date and times,) and no they weren't. Its behavior management.
2.) My mother, who could barely rouse during the day let alone at night, was given sleeping pills, by an NP, not an MD, who hadn't even read the chart, ("that's what the nurses told me." not.)
3.) My mom's mood rapidly declined and in trying to make sure she had interesting things to do, I was read a list of how many activities she declined, (several activities but repetitive bingo etc,) which required sight and my mom was blind. It was clear this hadn't occurred to them.
4.) In expressing concerns to the administrator she said "you're mother is thriving here!," when she had gone from walking, to use of a cane, use of a walker, then a wheelchair, and then a lift (what? she was skin and bones!) in less than 2 years, clearly not knowing or caring to look up what was going on, and being immediately defensive instead of trying to help,
5.) I finally came up with an idea for something that might be nice for her (she can't see and could barely hear,) and bought a bottle of her favorite perfume in a lotion, from the days she was talking the world by storm, (a pricey Chanel purchase,) while she was on hospice, as we know olfactory sense is powerful in relation to memory. The staff knew the story of how it was taken from me at the airport, but I found it in Wichita at the last store I tried, so I could at least give her those memories. She died several days later. The bottle was gone when I went to get her things. Who knows what else as I didn't have good inventory of her things. I reported it and no one followed up. I gave it a few weeks and called back and was told by the administrator "we're still looking for it." Really? Did you check under the bed?
6.) My mom was dying, and I was told it could be up to a couple of weeks, because her vitals were still strong. I was told when they began to get weaker, it was getting closer. She had dementia at that point and only knew I was there for less than a few minutes of the entire weekend. I decided to return home (west coast), after being assured I would be alerted when her vitals weakened, so that I would come back immediately. I was never notified, so she passed alone. On checking the records, they never took her vitals again.
7.) It is true that some of her RN's (Carol, is great) and nurse assistants were quite kind, and my mom liked them, but then, they should be. How do you know which ones those are, and which ones take the resident's belongings and turn off the lights?
7.) You decide
